Everybody rappin` and talkin` `bout nothin`
And makin` `em sexy sounds
And in the meantime and in between time
I`m down here on the ground

But now I`m not complainin` about what`s pertainin`
To my present status quo
About thing`s gettin` hard, ooh, my God, inflation
I know you know, listen

Now just yesterday I`d like to say
Before I got out of my bed
Now I was already tired on the for real side
And a few bills I forgot to pay

Now my phone rang and a cute little girl
Began to sing this tune
She said, Mr. Watson, I`d like to inform you
Your phone is turned off at noon

Now that came to me as no surprise
`Cause last week I went up the coast
I met a cute little girl that was all the way live
And callin` her I thought was the most

She had them great big eyes and `em great big legs
And it gave my body a chill
So you know, I never thought about the cost
And no, a telephone bill

So I just kept on rappin`
My hands got clappin` havin` myself a ball
You know, it slipped my mind
It was at the same time I was makin` a long distance call

So that day before yesterday I ran into the problem
Just makin` them calls and hollers
And I picked up the envelope that contained my bill
Guess what, 500 dollars

Now the next time I call this big leg cutie
To make myself a date
I`m gonna call that girl way after nine
And get me the evenin` rate

Now, I ain`t gonna tell her
I ain`t tellin` her nothin` to blow my frown thing
But it`ll be way, way, way after nine
When she`ll hear her telephone ring

Ring it, ring it, ring that telephone
Ring it, ring it, ring that telephone
I said, ring it, ring it, have yourself a thrill
And when you ring it, ring it, watch your phone bill

Now I paid the bill and the deal was real
And my talkin` resumed and all
I said, "From now on, pal
I must stick to my local calls"

Now a few weeks passed and I would just guess
You know what I`m talkin` about?
I say, when I got the bill the figure was so low
I was impressed, knock me out

Now shortly that after somethin` stopped my laughter
I was outside diggin` in the yard
Heard a ding and I heard a dong
It was the phone, ooh, my Lord

Say I dropped my shovel and my body
I leveled and I made me a 100-yard dash
And then I straightened up my clothes
And I blew my nose through a Kleenex in the trash

I composed myself and I picked up the phone
And I was still kinda huffin` and puffin`
And the operator said, Would you accept a collect call?
I said, Ain`t that nothin`?

But I was just cool `cause you know
I didn`t wanna be no fool and see I didn`t know who it was
It was the big legged cutie from up off the coast
Tellin` me that she was in love

Now for three whole minutes I planned to talk
Not now you all know I ain`t never lied
But in love or not, I planned to stop
When the third minute arrived

I went three minutes past it occurred to me
Ooh, she might talk a week
I said, I`m sorry, baby, look, I gotta go
She was a telephone freak

She said, `Oh Johnny, talk a little longer
With you I`m so in love"
I said, `I know where you`re comin` from
I can dig it, I gotta go rehearse at the club

She said, Well, if you gotta go rehearse I`ll call you later
There`s some I gotta tell you what`s on my mind
I said, Well, yeah okay, baby
You can call me back anytime after nine

Ring it, ring it, ring that telephone
Why don`t you ring it? Ring it, ring that telephone
And when you ring it, ring it, have yourself a thrill
And ring it, ring it and watch your phone bill